Welcome to my "Best Of" recap of last night's The Ultimate Fi, I mean The Voice, I mean, Spike TV's original fighting reality show concept, Fight Master! If you didn't watch it, don't worry, I do all the heavy lifting. And if you did watch it, I hope you enjoy these shitty jokes I wrote about it. Without further ado...
After a brief break from watching #BellatorMMA, Im here to talk #FightMaster with anyone remotely up and around who'll listen. Let's do this— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
I get the impression the people at #FightMaster are really into the Earth, because even that intro sounds recycled from #TheUltimateFighter
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
I'm only now noticing how giant Greg Jackson's ears are. I do wonder if they get satellite TV reception. #FightMaster #BellatorMMA
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
Frank Shamrock is no stranger to modesty when he proclaims he MAY know the sport of #MMA better than anyone else...in the WORLD #FightMaster
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
Ok think I got it: Randy Couture='s Blake Shelton, Joe Warren='s Adam Levine, Frank Shamrock='s Cee Lo & Greg Jackson='s X-Tina #FightMaster
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
Hey you bums, at least Randy Couture has the dignity to come to the fights in a suit jacket. #FightMaster
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
First up, we've got Chip Pollard vs. Tim Welch. I'm giving Pollard a free pass with the family death, but I need a moment for #TheGingaNinja
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
Part Irish and Part Indian, eh? No wonder you became a fighter #TheGingaNinja, your ancestors were HATED by America for so long #FightMaster
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
So did they have to get a bald guy to come in the Octag...I mean #CircleOfFight to announce the rules? Is that a law? #FightMaster #FakeDana
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
No elbows in THIS round? Is it like an RPG, do you have to earn them through a certain amount of coins or something? #FightMaster
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
The word #FatJab seems to be getting tossed around quite frequently in this first round. #FightMaster
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
I get the controlling your own destiny concept, but doesnt that only apply if youre 1 of the 1st to fight & your desired coach is available?
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
Wait, Frank Shamrock gets to use a laptop? Is that cheating? Can I get a ruling on laptops please! #FightMaster
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
.@JoeWarrenMMA did NOT enjoy getting rejected by .@TimwelchMT. He had the look of a guy dumped by his date hours before prom. #FightMaster
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
Eric Scallan vs. Chris Curtis up next. Let's see how this one shakes down. #FightMaster
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
Fun game for Chris Curtis, take a drink every time he smiles. #FightMaster
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
It sounds like #FightMaster couldn't afford a bell, so theyre just using a hammer against part of the cage to signal the ends of rounds #MMA
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
I now realize a great strategy for #FightMaster coaches, u can Keyser Soze a rapport w/ a perspective fighter via their tats #ILoveMyMomToo!
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
Next up we've got Brendan Tierney vs. Nick Barnes. #FightMaster
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
Right off the back, I cant help but notice a slight resemblance between @Tiny_Shorts & Taco from "The League" @jonlajoiecomedy #FightMaster
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
Also, Brendan Tierney can we have a moment to discuss ur nickname Tiny Shorts. Just want to say there are other names out there #FightMaster
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
Was Tiny Dancer already taken, because that seems like a WAYYY better nickname by comparison #FightMaster
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
So far .@Nick_Phoenix170 has the best narrative of the fighters we've seen. He has my early support going into this fight. #FightMaster
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
.@SpikeTV seems to get that fight fans WANT to see mutliple camera angles on these fights. The split panels are a great idea. #FightMaster
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
Nice work .@Nick_Phoenix170. Lot of people woulda folded under that initial pressure but you stayed calm & recovered very well. #FightMaster
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
.@Tiny_Shorts & .@Nick_Phoenix170 put on an excellent display on #FightMaster, giving us the first great match of the show. Well done.
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
That look .@Randy_Couture shoots @JoeWarrenMMA when he tries to claim @Nick_Phoenix170 is the best "get off my lawn look" ever. #FightMaster
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
Sometimes I think Frank Shamrock is such the salesman on this show, it seems like he's trying to get me to buy a used car. #FightMaster
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
Not gonna lie, part of me isn't convinced that Darryl Cobb isn't a character being played by SNL's Jay Pharoah #FightMaster
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
If we're casting #FightMaster the movie, I think itd be a safe bet to cast Kevin Connelly (@mrkevinconnolly) from Entourage as @JoeWarrenMMA
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
Josh Quayhagen vs. Chris Lozano up next. #Fightmaster
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
Not gonna lie, @CLE_assassin, little terrifying with those punches against the edge of the cage. Nicely done, man. #FightMaster
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
@CLE_assassin goes to #ShamrockMMA and may have also ended up with a timeshare by the end of that sales pitch. #FightMaster #ShamrockSales
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
And with that, I think it's time to call it a night gang. Hope you enjoyed our commentary for both #BellatorMMA and #Fightmaster.
— Verbal Tap Podcast (@VerbalTapCast) June 20, 2013
Check back next week to see what dumb jokes I have in store for all of you. Peace!
Oh, by the way, if you like this, check out my jokes for the Bellator MMA fights that preceded the premiere of Fight Master here.