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The Ultimate Fighter

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27 Things We Learned from UFC Fight Night 27

UFC Fight Nights come and go so fast you miss the story behind the story.  Don’t worry, Raf’s got you covered. In honor of this being the 27th installment of UFC Fight Night, please enjoy the 27 things that we learned from last night's card.

1.  Sometimes a weigh in photo op is indicative of the kind of fight you will see on a UFC card.

2.  Sometimes not.

3.  Sometimes Brad Tavares just can't choose which hand gesture he wants to pose with.

4.  We're pretty sure we discovered the real identity of Rey Mysterio Jr.

5.  According to Dana White, this is not an illegal knee.

Not an Illegal Knee

6.  According to Jon Anik, Ref Gary Copeland refers to himself as "Mini-Brock." We prefer to think he looks more like a retired and suburbanized Duke Nukem.

7.  Ben Alloway seriously named his son after Chael P. Sonnen. 

8.  And while he didn't come up with a victory, at least he can tell his son he was beaten by a guy who was trained by the man he was named after.

9.  Try as we might, a fighter has yet to tap to a figure four leg lock while inside the octagon (yet).

10.  This kind of knock out never gets old.

11.  During a post-fight interview, it's ok to grab hold of a strand of hair from your mullet to help you maintain your composure.

12.  There's no way around it, Dylan Andrews always looks confused when he's fighting.

13.  Brad Tavares and Bubba McDaniel totally made out during their fight.

14.  Bubba might have gotten distracted when he saw his own reflection on one of the monitors.

15.  Takeya Mizugaki is either really happy about his split decision win or really adamant about doing the Pledge of Allegiance.

16.  Do NOT give Kelvin Gastelum a second to take your back. EVER.

17.  Gastelum does a pretty good Robert DeNiro impression.

 

 

18.  Court McGee and Robert Whittaker hit each other so hard during their fight they ended up looking like two drunk people trying to help each other walk home from the bar.

19.  Rafael Dos Anjos really distrusts the people sitting in the cheap seats.

20.  Before every fight, Carlos Condit likes to pretend he just kicked a game-winning field goal.

21.  Carlos Condit is famous for having some of the bloodiest matches in the UFC.

22.  And last night was no different.

23.  Naturally, when my Verbal Tap Podcast co-host, Kevin T. Phillips, heard Condit started bleeding in his match against Kampmann he was all like...

24.  And just in case some of you aren't sure if Kevin is serious about his Carlos Condit man-crush (and that it's just a running gag we do on the podcast), please allow me to submit Exhibit A:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

25.  Yes.  Those are all Kevin's real tweets.  No, he has absolutely no idea I just did that (#SorryImNotSorry, Kev).

26.  Condit continues to pray his restraining order against Kev will go through.

27.  Meanwhile, Kampmann's just kinda bummed Kev has no love for him!

That'll do it for our "analysis" of UFC Fight Night 27.  If you guys see photos after an event that you feel teach us a lesson, be sure to send 'em are way so we can write some shitty jokes at their expense.

Thanks for sticking around, we'll see you again after UFC 164!  If you like our jokes here, don't forget to check out our podcasts right here at VerbalTapCast.com!

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Raf Watches: Fight Master (Episode 1)

Welcome to my "Best Of" recap of last night's The Ultimate Fi, I mean The Voice, I mean, Spike TV's original fighting reality show concept, Fight Master!  If you didn't watch it, don't worry, I do all the heavy lifting.  And if you did watch it, I hope you enjoy these shitty jokes I wrote about it.   Without further ado...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Check back next week to see what dumb jokes I have in store for all of you. Peace!

Oh, by the way, if you like this, check out my jokes for the Bellator MMA fights that preceded the premiere of Fight Master here.

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NEXT TIME on VERBAL TAP: Adam Cella

We couldn't be happier to announce that on the next installment of VERBAL TAP, we will be speaking to Ultimate Fighter cast member Adam Cella (@AdamCellaMMA). Despite getting eliminated early in the competition by a well-documented kick from Uriah Hall, Cella proved to be quite the house and fan favorite with his honest, mid-west wit and impressions of other cast-members (which we will be asking him about).

Some of you may also have seen Cella take the UFC Light Heavyweight champ to the limit in this Ultimate Fighter digital extra.

Additionally, Cella, being ever the great sport that he is, also allowed us to have some fun at his expense with this face.

adam cellasFaithful Ultimate Fighter fans may recall this as the face that Cella made moments after his friend and teammate Bubba McDaniel (@BubbaTheMenace) lost a preliminary fight to eventual Ultimate Fighter champion Kelvin Gastelum (@KelvinGastelum).

But what we'd like to ask you fight fans is: What's going on here? 

Give us your best captioned joke on it and we'll throw it at Mr. Cella himself to select a winner.

So drop us a line in the comment section below and do your best (worst)!

And if you've got a question for Mr. Cella, let us know.  We'll be happy to ask!

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FAN CAM: Brawl at UFC 159

EDIT | Surprise, surprise. The UFC took down the original YouTube video invoking copyright infringement (they must be fans of the site, obviously, so we're taking credit for that one). So get in on this while you can folks.

Listen, I want to take more pleasure in the juxtaposition that is two drunk Jersey fans fighting to the sounds of “Born in the USA” at UFC 159. I really do. But I’m not in that mood today. For whatever reason, this fight in the stands is not sitting right with me this evening.

Let’s start with the obvious.

This isn’t the first ironic rodeo for one of the Bruce’s signature songs (and I doubt it’ll be the last). Yes, he deserves better. He’s the goddamn Boss. Surely this fact shouldn’t be lost upon Jersey.

Then there’s the fact that security takes its sweet time to get involved in the situation. I honestly wasn’t sure if they were there or not for a great deal of the video. At one point I convinced myself a cop actually said, “Nah, let ‘em work this out.”

And sure, as perennial target for laughs, we should be able to make fun of Jersey. It’s part of what makes them great. They can take it; they’ve got hundreds of other things wrong with their state anyway (see what I did there?).

While you can try to make a larger argument about this being an isolated event, perpetuated by some cheap beer and a number of misunderstandings, the fact of that matter is this: for a sport that continuously has to assure the masses that it’s a crazy exhibition of mindless violence, this makes us all look bad.

We could try to sweep it all under the rug and pretend it never happened, but I’d prefer to make an example of it. If you go to a UFC, don’t be this person. If you know of a person like this, stop them immediately—either from attending or going out in public to watch the UFC.

There are far too many good people who have a great respect for the honor, defense, and respect aspects of mixed martial arts to let this kind of nonsense go down. So today, I don’t run from this, I say let it be the example. We’re better than this.

Certainly, this extends further than Jersey. Same goes for any other state or territory and it’s not to say that any of our hometowns are without blemish.  I think any rationale person would argue this is kind of nonsense has no place at an event and in the stands.

And, honestly, I’m a little sad to see this happen here after the an audience made headlines only about 10 miles removed and a couple weeks prior at a post-Wrestlemania Monday Night Raw.

You can skip the formalities and jump right in about the one minute mark. The crowd literally stole the show from the performers and the result added something ridiculously entertaining to the proceedings, dare I say… even smart?

Say what you will about pro wrestling, that crowd was so cohesive in their message of being stupid and having fun, it actually makes for a refreshing change of pace. So much so, that the WWE itself produced that video to show how much fun the crowd was having—and even made me believe Jersey might be a good crowd for UFC 159 for whatever reason.  Sadly, the beat down video proves otherwise.

Although, I suppose they might have been drinking because the card was "cursed."  Still not a valid excuse.

So congrats, WWE Universe, you win this round; Drunken UFC guy, you’re on notice.

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